Praise to my Angel

It was quarter past 8, and I got off the bus at a crossroads. That is where I saw him; at first I just thought it was a strange passerby. With a closer examination though I realized this person was different, they made no movement to signify they had any life, or any thought what so ever. They stood there like a dark statue that had a monstrous purpose. This person also had a strange aura to them that seemed to mimic the feeling of losing a loved one. Then my mind went back to my Sunday school days in church, and the only thing I could rationalize is that it was the devil himself standing in an all black cloak. He was just stood there with a firm stance, almost like he was waiting for something that was very important to him. At first he was looking towards the place where the sun slept, then with a slow 180 degree turn of his head, his scarlet red eyes met mine. Then his body which seemed to move independently from his head, aligned with his deadly eyes, in a strange almost romantic gaze towards I. Then it was then and there I realized the devil was not looking for something, he was looking for someone, and I was his being of choice.

He did not walk towards me, but he made a sort of slithering movement across the street. His body waved from side to side till he stood in front of me. His breath reeked of dried blood, and maggoty meat. Then there was an overwhelming odour of sulphur, and a strange scream that arose from his body that sounded close, but yet it sounded like it came from a great distance. Then I fell to my knees puking, after putting up with his disgusting presence for those few seconds. Then I fell on my side next to my mess, and with a shocked look I saw it was no food that came from my belly, but it was bile, blood, and raven feathers. Then the devil extended his hand offering to help me up, I was confused and reluctant to take it, but it felt like 200 pounds weighed on shoulders and I could not get up on my own. I grabbed his hand and he lifted me off the ground with such ease; I was shocked by the amount of brute strength he had. I brushed myself off and took a quick glance at my puke, and right before my eyes it turned into poisonous snakes. There were 18 snakes that surrounded I and the devil. His head slightly tilted on an angle after the snakes went into their circle then I heard his voice. I was surprised because the sound that came out was not threatening or scary, but it was soothing, and surprisingly pleasant to my ears. He asked me “Are you content with your life?”. I suddenly said “yes of course why wouldn't I?”, then he took a deep exhale of frustration, and said “You lie to me, and I can only say you’re welcome for that.”. I thought about his strange words, and wondered why did he say that? Just when I finished asking that question in my head he laughed out loud, then he exclaimed “Why my child should I not say you’re welcome? I am the reason you can lie!”. I tried to step back but then one of the snakes leaped towards my calf to try and sink its deadly fangs in me. Then the devil grew monstrous claws that decapitated the snake before it could bite me, then all of the snakes around I and the devil, made noises that were ungodly, they were sounds that no snake should have the ability to make. The snake’s dead bodies turned back into their original form of the puke, as if the puke as never disturbed. The devil made a noise of regret like he was upset for the death of his deadly creations, but just as he started to look human; he went back to his unholy self. He then slowly removed his hood, and I closed my eyes in fear for what I was about to see, but I started to relax as if someone gave me a drug that loosened my current mood. I heard his calming voice say “open your eyes”, then I took a deep breath, and I slowly opened my eyes. My eyes were not filled disgust, but awe and jealously, for the devil wasn't some foul beast, he was a good looking man that had a friendly presence to him. Then I saw his eyes, they were the same scarlet red as before, and I tried to remember this isn't a helpful man, but a beast with a sinister purpose. As time went on though his words became more appealing to me, and I started to forget the beast in front of me.

We had a rather delightful conversation for about a half hour, but then his true purpose for his being there became known to me. He looked me in the eyes and said “Remember when I asked you if you were happy with your life?”. I responded with a perplexed “Yes, why do you ask?” He then said “I know you carry hardship in your life, so you are not truly happy correct?”, I was hesitant to answer at first but the words finally came out “ I guess I am not truly happy”. The devil then said “Finally you admit it, now do you want true happiness? The cost for it is rather simple.” “What is the cost?”, the devil then said “ it is your soul my good friend.”Then just after he offered for me to sell my soul for happiness, a heavenly voice arose from behind me, she said “Stop, for you are about to make a mistake!” .The Devil said “what mistake is that?, I offer him true happiness, you should leave so he can have want he wants.”, to which the women responded “ You only tell half truths, you are like a drug that destroys men souls, you get them addicted innocently at first, but then you slowly change them into monsters till they finally die.”. I turned around to see the women whose voice alone made me willing to die for her, and I saw no wrong in her. Her hair, her face, her body, and even her clothes showed that she was perfection. Her presence was warm, and didn't have any hidden agendas to it; she truly wanted to help me. Her hair was long and looked as soft as Egyptian cotton, her eyes were a beautiful mix of green and brown that seemed to shift colour in the light. Her body seemed to be gentle, calm, and symmetrical, she was a beauty that any man would have killed to be around. Her voice was the icing on the cake she could have spoken complete nonsense for hours on end, but her sweet tempting voice would still make it interesting. I inquired to her “what is your name sweet angel?” her response was full of smiles and giggles; she said “my name is Aleshia, and I have been watching you for a while.” I spent half a hour with the devil, but in those few brief minutes, hearing and seeing perfection, I knew who was right. Perfection was right and she went by the name of Aleshia, a true heavenly name.

They both raised their hands out towards me, one offered a deadly gift, and the other just wanted me to be safe. I knew the devil's offer was lies once Aleshia came, but there still was a part of me that wanted his gift. Then Aleshia said “Do you want the death that comes along with his gift? I make no promises of happiness, but I make a promise that we will at least try to make our own happiness.”, after she said that our eyes were locked in loves trance for what seemed to be an eternity of grace. Just as we both were locked in loves embrace the devil shouted “Do you trust this whore over me! She is nothing; I can give you guarantees of happiness! She only gives maybe's and what if's!”. Then I exclaimed “She might give me maybe's and what if's, but I know in my heart she will not betray me in any aspect of my life!, You give me beauty wrapped in pain and suffering, she gives me true happiness, she gives me love.” Just when I finished my sentence the beast's true form became known, it was a weird snake like creature that had fur and features of a wolf. Then he jumped and sunk his fangs in my throat. He then left with a monstrous laugh, but as he left the angel Aleshia came to me. She said “trust that our love can save you, and you will be safe.”, then I gave her a sign of approval through the gurgling noises of my blood filled mouth. Then everything became bright, and I heard a quire of angels signing of Aleshia’s glorious triumph, then all my pain was lifted.

I opened my eyes I was still on my bus, and I just noticed that I had to get off. When I got off the bus though I was confused, everything seemed so real. I looked across the crossroads and no one was there. I just shook it all off, and I went back to my home. I never told anyone about my experience for I thought they would call me mad, so I just went to my computer, and I went on my facebook. As I was searching my news feed I saw her, my angel. She looked exactly the same as my dream, except she looked a little better; I thought how could perfection be challenged? I think she looked better because I could actually talk to her, touch her, and hopefully love her. I sent a message to the angel Aleshia, as I wrote it though I heard a cry in the distance; it was the sound of someone’s complete and utter failure. Now I know the best thing about my angel Aleshia wasn't her beauty, but it was her personality. Everything about me seemed to just fit in perfectly with her. Sometimes when I am with my angel, I feel that feeling of complete loss, then I look in Aleshia’s eyes, and that suffering I felt melts away into the abyss of eternity. Then those horrible feelings are replaced with love and happiness; now I can only trust that as long as I am with Aleshia those good feelings stay with us forever.

Update.

I am fantastic, well actually that is a understatement but there is no word that can accuratley describe my mood. Not too long ago I got into a relationship, and at first I was kind of afraid, but now I am loving it. This is honestly the first time I feel comfortable with someone, it is a great feeling. Usually I feel pressured to impress, but with her I feel like I can be just me and that is completely fine. I look at her and I can't imagine anyone better, this is a great feeling. Now I am just eager to see what the future will hold for me and her.

This is too my gorgeous Aleshia, the girl of my dreams.

Goals in a modern day society

I have developed a sort of thirst for fame
Some might call it a sudden lust for the game
But I want millions to go and scream my name

I don't care about the means, I just want the fame
My goal is in my sights, and I have a deadly aim
I choose to bust out of this deadly frame

I want to be special and unique
I will be the man with a subtle mystique
I will be the man every woman seeks

No longer will I be considered weak!
No longer will I be the worlds freak!
No longer will I be viewed as meek!

I have developed a sort of thirst for fame
Some might call it a sudden lust for the game
But I want millions to go and scream my name

And I don't care about the means. I just want.....the fame.

The truth in thought

The sacred silence you have in your mind.
Will take some others some time to find.

The wonderful connection while your in a thought to thought.
It is somthing that can never be bought.

Your ideas and stories become one.
Then finally your search will be done.

You have found love with someone special and great.
Your very mind helped you find your fate.

Never again will you search for this connection.
For you have finally reached emotional perfection.

Love is something eternal it can nver be undone.
Love is something you will never want to shun.

If one looks back at their love with hatred, and disgrace.
Should be sticken from all time and space.

They are disturbed for hating something they never began to feel.
Feel sadness for them, because they never see loves appeal.

The winter blues.

The day of confusion.
The day I dread.
The day I fear.
The day I hate.

December 16th.

The man responsible for my life.
He was taken at the wrong time.
I wanted a father.
But all I got was lonlieness.

December 16th.

I never knew him.
Now I will never know him.
He was my father.
But he was a stranger.

December 16th.

I will get over his death.
But I will never forget the feelings.
One day I will be like him.
But hopefully a different person.

December 16th.

The reality of love.

My beautiful angel.
Stay here forever with me.

I need you for I am gel.
Only you can give me form.

But this can not be.
Remember me please.

I see you always.
And it haunts me so.

I hate you.
I love you.

Makes no sense.
Thoughts unclear.

I will live on though.
A soldier of love.

Marching to my death.
Take me now sweet dove.

I care about you so much.
So I will set you free now.

I will cherish you always.
Never mine; Always in mind.

You destroyed me

Three times I asked, three times I was denied.
You just sat there and watched as I died.

How can I one day be your all.
Then in your eyes I fall?

Our friendship was full of life.
Then you stabbed its heart with a knife, full of strife.

How are we not friends? You betrayed me.
You alone killed my glee.

We together made a mighty oak tree.
Now it is just debris.

I was the life giving roots, and you were the beautiful leaves.
Now I watch as you are plundered by theives.

How can anyone love this naked oak tree?
Now with me alone, and you gone, my death is a guarantee.

You used to be the only one that could help me.
Now I must grow alone, and create my own beauty.

Love story

You say I am a toad,
But as the story goes,
If you kiss me I will
Become a handsome prince.
No longer will you be shamed,
Because your my queen.
I will never look upon another women,
For you are mine to hold.
But as the story goes,
If you kiss me I will
Become a handsome prince.

Strangled by the night

Such a frightening sight,
To be killed by the thing,
That your not supposed to be afraid of.
But it is the truth,
I was stangled by the night.
I was told that my death was their right,
Strangled by the night.

The April Rains

Oh, gentle death.
Cradles you like a mothers embrace.
Cold, stiffness, siece to live.
I try my hardest to get to it.

It is like an addiction to meth.
Trying to get something, you know you should not get.
Wabting it makes you ugly.
And takes away your friends.

If anyone can help me.
Why don't they help?
Do they take pleasure in my suicidal thoughts?
I hate them for hating me.

Maybe they do see.
My slow death coming towards them.
What if they tried to stop it?
I will never know because now I am dead.

So many attempts to end it.
One finally succeded.
Learn from this.
Do not respect it.

People tore me down bit by bit.
But some helped me.
They gave me a kind word.
Now I left them.

Why did I do the absurd?

An addiction to love

Thoughts of you constantly plague my mind.
You are always in my dreams.

What once used to be dull is now refined.
The wanting of love flow into multiple streams.

You are the most beautiful women on the planet.
You will never see me the way I see you.

I wish we can have love as strong as granite.
My feelings for you are so true.

I will try my hardest for you just to like me.
Then maybe finally you will see the way I do.

I have to set myself free, so finally.
I can love; this is so overdue.

If you never like me that is fine.
This feeling is like getting a shove.

I will know if you like me because I will get a sign.
This is an addiction to love.

The laughter that couldn't stop

I laughed and laughed till I was out of air.
Is this a laugh of joy or hate; oh this I cannot bear.

I laughed and laughed even though I was told to stop.
There were so many tears I needed a mop.

Oh make this stop this sinful laugh of mine.
I have been laughing for so long I might even die.

Now I am starting to go blue in the face.
I guess now I have sealed my fate.

This laughter that was never stopped.
I laughed and laughed till I finally dropped.

The star in the sky

Look to my star
As you can see it is very far

She is pretty, and gives the night meaning
My dreams wait in her glowing ring

She will return them when I am dead and gone
When my soul rises with the dawn

She is my star in the sky
Now I rest with her ever so high

Me and her will glow and love for all eternity
And that alone fills me with so much glee

Some random thing.

Breath in. Breath out. STOP!The world begins to spin. Everything you know starts to end. Your chest begins to feel great pain. You hold back your tears then you start to blame. YOU! YOU! Your the reason I am hurting! Then you start to think it is your fault. Breath in. Breath out....stop.

The dream of the forgotten

The silent death.
Exhaling one last breath.

Heart slows to a stop.
Eye lids open then they suddenly drop.

No more movement in this forgotten soul.
Death has finally reached his goal.

Exhaling one. Last. Breath.
The silent death.

A comparison of the unnatural

I consider myself a young Edgar Allan Poe.
I consider my words to be the same as his you know.

I rhyme, I hate, and my words are precise.
My thoughts though have come to a different price.

My words like his stab the reader like a knife.
They echoe the words he used during his life.

Our views on poetry are one in the same.
And I dislike anyone who consider this a shame.

I hope one day my skills will show.
Because I consider myself a young Edgar Allan Poe.

A note to any body who cares, a short story by: Alexander Miller

Alexander was making his trek home, but tonight was a different than any other night. It was colder and darker than usual. The stars were out and the moon looked ever so bright. Though everything around him looked absent of light. The night got more frigid as time went on. This was strange because it was the middle of summer, but yet it felt like it was the middle of winter. He looked around and all the lights in the houses were out. Also the trees on their lawns seemed to gather around him and with each gust of wind that went through the trees seemed to whisper his name “Alexander”.

This was a lonely walk; this was a walk that made the world seem like it was going to collapse around him. He came from his girlfriends house. Or should should I say ex girlfriend now. She stood there looking as beautiful as ever. Her long silky brunette hair, her bright green eyes that seemed to tell everyone a story about her life, her soft voluptuous lips seemed to beg for a kiss, and all of this combined in one face was simply perfection. All topped off with a nice curvy body, a nice green an white tank top, and a short blue jean skirt. Alexander only saw a angel , but with one sentence she turned into the devil. She said “ Alexander....I cheated on you....with Steven.”. That is when Alexander's world began to shut down. Suddenly her beauty turned into a vile form of leprosy that seemed to destroy each thing that made her beautiful one by one. Her hair seemed to become dry, and its colour seemed to become dull as each second went by. Her bright green eyes shifted to a ugly grey. Her lips started to become chapped, and now the lips that begged for a kiss only wanted to spread death. Alexander turned away from her home, he ignored her pleas to talk, and he could only hear the sound of his breaking heart.

Now his mind doesn't know what to do. That is why he can hear the trees whisper his name, and that is why his world started to get colder an darker. His pace seemed to slow down, and his thoughts tried its hardest to forget her. No matter how hard he tried though his thoughts centred around her. What did he do wrong he thought. He isn't man enough to keep a women. He failed with the love of his life. His mind though just kept going back to one phrase “ I love you why did you do this to me!”. All of this thinking made him lose track of time because before he knew it he was in front of his home. His family wasn't there again. Was this a good or bad thing? I guess only time will tell that. He walked into the slightly orange duplex, with the broken gutter in the front, with a dead garden that hadn't seen life in ages, and with a dandelion invested lawn. He looked around the outside of his house for one last time, and with one deep breath he went inside. As he closed the door behind him, he began to shed one single tear. Then we walked up the 32 stairs, in the dark house, up towards his room. He opened the closet door and picked up the 4 metre long, 10 centimetre thick rope. Then he went into his room and began to write a letter to everyone in his life. It was titled “ one last farewell to anyone who cared”.

After he was done writing his note, he began to tie his hang man's knot. When his knot was finally done and he saw no flaws in it he left his room and, he began to walk to the old willow tree in the public park down the street. He seemed to have lost all emotion, his eyes never blinked once, his face stayed neutral, and his pace was steady and true. No one noticed the depressed man bent on killing himself, or they just didn't care that he was there, but there was no interference from anyone around him. He had a glimmer of hope when he was walking but the hope was quickly snuffed as he stood before the old willow tree. He took out his cell phone to make one last text. It was sent to his former love and the text went like this “ I loved you, I loved you for who you were, and I can't stop loving you now. I am dead now. I am sorry for this.”, he stared at his phone for three more seconds then he put it away in his jean pocket. He threw the rope over the highest branch, and he tied the end on the thick trunk. He made a deep breath and wished his phone would vibrate, with a text that said “ I am sorry, I love you”. No text came so he climbed up the old willow tree, he put his head through the hole, and fastened it around his neck. Then silence surrounded him, he stopped hearing the whispers of the trees, and his skin could no longer feel the cold. With that final loss of feeling he dropped from the old willow, and with one loud crunching noise he was dead.

Now his lifeless body hung from the old willow tree. While he hung there though his old love laid dead in her bath tub with her wrists cut in a nice long vertical motion. If Alexander checked his voice mail he would have heard her say “ I love you, I love you for who you are, I love you right now and I am sorry I hurt you. Now I am dead, I am sorry for this.”, just as if she bothered to read his text before she cut her wrist they might have both lived. Two people now are dead, two people who had broken hearts , and caused there own deaths. One killed himself because he lost his only love, the other killed herself because she pushed her love away. I guess the expression love kills is true.

By: Alexander Miller.