Short story idea

I once heard that one does not need to be happy in order to live life, and this to me is the truest statement ever spoken.  Sure the pursuit of happiness seems great especially if you can grab hold of the elusive mistress of content, but yet the moments when you long fully reach for her hand she seems to pull back, and watch as you fall towards the Marianas Trench of sorrow. I sit here before you with my short buzzed brown hair, wearing a t-shirt that painfully advertises some new thing at my work, and just regular blue jeans. A working man pants I always say, my jeans to me is a symbol of another days hard work, but also a beacon of despair as the more I work the more my real dreams fade away. I sit here your, “William get back to work! Your break was over one minute ago!”

I like snails so what

Death

Nature St. Catharines things.

Zombie Sample.

                John’s back was pressed  against the door trying to hold back the oncoming  tide of death, but with each slam against the door it became increasingly harder to fight it. His seemingly impenetrable home began to fail with each minute that past, his blood was flowing out of his fresh bite wounds all over his body, and his mind began to slip away into nothingness. He fought for years holding onto something that resembled life, only to die alone.  John hears the window in the back shatter under the weight of the horde, and the smell of rotting flesh begins to ooze into his house. Since his mind was almost gone, he was not even aware of his fight for life anymore, the smell of rotting flesh did not exist to him, instead his thoughts drifted to his birthday party three months before the outbreak.

  This is just a little sample of a story I have been writing for a bit I hope you liked it.

               

Suicide.

                  Suicide is always considered by a large majority of people as a "selfish" act, so what about the people that force their friends, and family members to stay alive seemingly just so they can have that person for another day longer. Are they considered to be selfless? Even though their goals are manly to keep someone around for their benefit, how is that a selfless act? Whatever the reasons, may it be for self loathing, being afraid to say your sexual preference, being alone, or just to end it all. It is for their reasons, and their reasons alone, but as human beings our fear of loss is too great to understand someones yearning for death. When faced with death almost everyone acts as if they are an expert in life, for we all know what it is like breath, love, feel happiness, everyone can say stay alive for pride, everyone can say stay alive for your loved ones, everyone can say stay alive just to be alive. Is that enough though? Is anything they say good enough, what is life without death? Death as well as life are things that help aid in our identity for humanity as a whole. You cannot have one without the other, why deny things that shape who we are?

                  On the other hand though life can be beautiful, free, liberating, how can someone wish to deny such awesome sensations, for a hole in the ground that they get to call home. Feelings of love can be so fiery and amazing how can one wish to end any chance of feeling it ever again, or at all. Even though it has its moments where all you want to do is rip your hair out and scream, at least you have another chance to feel that great warm feeling of staring someone in the eyes and saying that you love them. Or the satisfaction of working towards a goal sweating, stressing, working your fingers to the bone, then finally finishing your job no matter what it is you did it, and the feeling of a job well done I know for me sometimes can surpass any feeling in the world. It is hard though because some goals are longer than others, sometimes the job seems impossible, but anything you do is possible if you work hard enough to do it. To summarize all good feeling that exist in this world though would take blogs, upon blogs to actually get an idea of the good there is in life. Life as well as death are things that help aid in our identity for humanity as a whole. You cannot have one without the other, but death is so permanent, and life only happens for a fraction of a time, I know personally for me I would prefer a fraction of life, to an eternity of death.

St. Catharines the city I know.

Hope you guys enjoy these or at least see a little bit of how I see my world.

12 mile creek fun

Possible Fantasy book idea

               “Death is in the air Stanson, if all goes well we will have every single heretic burned at the stake for the lord of no lords.”

               “Rarasie we wiped them out months ago, and you know this, please call off this attack, we are here because some whore in Delaruse, whispered in your ear that they are starting a heretic revolt, there is nothing here but farmers, and half starved peasants.”

                Rarasie drived his armored elbow into Stanson’s chest knocking him off his horse, his eyes red with fury exclaims to Stanson

                “ If you speak out against what I choose to do in order to preserve what the lord of no lords wants I will mark you for heresy, and take away all of your lands.”

Stanson looks up at Rarasie and says,
“Apologies m’lord Rarasie, I shouldn’t have said anything to you, may the lord of no lords keep my foolish thoughts silent.”

               Without acknowledging  Stanson, Rarasie gave the order to attack, the eager troops began to march towards the village of Rayse, the next few hours though only made Stansons thoughts solidify into blood stained horror. He needed to leave this crusade for if he stays his life will not continue for much longer.

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Photos from St. Catharines

Melancholy

The ignorance of my past youthful innocence bleeds into my future mistakes,
As I walk through the death of my dreams I see what I truly loved was fake.

A man alone dying within his own heart breathes in the destruction of his truths,
He watches the world grow darker as he feels the abandonment of his youth.

God leaves everyone to fend for themselves, or he was never there is it hard to tell,
I am left with the inequities of a pessimistic mind, and a man's body that begins to rebel.

If I could fight I would, if I could run I should because the horrors silence has begun,
As silence comes darkness reigns, and begins to black out a once bright sun.

Where to begin, and where to end for I am left ultimately alone,
Through the ages my love has lost, and my hate has grown.

Disgraceful intentions of my being leads to lustful roots digging deep,
I act as if I am happily awake, but I just stay in a melancholy sleep.

The man on the black horse comes galloping quicker, and quicker towards me,
If he reaches me then he will take me from this horrifying reality.

Maybe I should stay, and let him lift me up towards the freedom of death,
I cannot go not now, and I will fight every moment for that last final breath.

If I could go back in time, and announce to the world of my existence,
Would there still be truth of my world? Would this reality offer its same resistance?

The crow still sings

             "Marry me?" he whispers softly to his girlfriend's grave. John quietly cries to himself "I should have asked you sooner." John stops choking on his words, tears rolling down his cheeks as if his emotional dam is going to break. John fights through his pain "then maybe....you wouldn't......have killed yourself." John tries to compose himself "I love you baby, I just wished....I could have made you happier." John stops remembering her lifeless body laying on a blood soaked bed looking as if she was merely in a deep sleep. He takes another swig of his now almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels, "Fuck if I could go back I would, I would do anything just to keep you alive, to see you another day, to hold you for another moment." the constant flow of tears slow down to a cold stop.

             John looks to his left and sees the soft green willow swaying softly back, and forth underneath the glow of the full moons light. John breathes in the cold September air until his lungs are full of the relaxation of autumn, then he slowly exhales as man would meditating " It has been a lonely four years without you, and each day I am consumed with thoughts of what could have been." a crow sings an unholy song in the distance. One last swig finishes the Jack Daniel's, John throws the bottle towards the willow, he hears a cold crack of the bottle shatter on another lost soul's grave stone. He stares at the full moon "I remember I never drank when we were together, in fact I hated alcohol." John looks down towards the grave "Now it is all I can do to try and move on, but the more I drink the more I feel alone." John closes his eyes.

              "I lost my job last month, lost the house a week after that, I have been losing everything since you ended your life." John opens his eyes. John reaches for his Jack Daniels, but remembers the sound of the broken glass from earlier "Now the liquor is gone too." John pauses hearing the crow now singing in the willow. "I didn't even know you were in pain I was too self absorbed ,and hung up on the perfect idea of what we were, I never stopped to see the picture." John shuffles his feet back and forth. The tears now find there way back to his eyes "Nothing is real without you, each moment I live is like I am succumbing more into madness." John cracks his knuckles, and screams in pure anger towards the sky. Grinding his teeth John grabs his gun resting in his pocket "Soon I will be with you love." John puts one knee on the ground, and rests the ring he bought for his love on her grave stone. John whispers "Marry me?" John's bullet leaves his gun, and moves with ease through his heart. The crow lands on the grave stone, and sings its unholy song, the willow still swaying to the left of John`s body. Maybe John will finally find his peace.