I realized something.

The thing I realized today is that I am luckier than most when it comes to friends. My whole life I felt sad ,and believe I had no friends, and no one liked me. In reality though I had a bunch of people I could joke around with, and relate too. I was too naive to see that most likely because I was just another unintentional teen age stereotype. I always thought a friend is someone you can trust absoulutely, but in reality a friend is someone you can talk to, and be interested. I wasted my time though searching for the trusting friend, that I neglected my true friends. I became a man that manufactured his own hell, but never realized it till I was already to far inside my madness.

The start of a new day

For some reason I have of feeling of something, or someone pushing me towards a more productive direction. It could be some unknown diety starting to take interest in me, or just my subconscience saying " get the fuck up and do something", but either way I don't really care about the reason. I feel like this is something I should take advantage of, and make the best damn lemonade out of lemons I just recieved from life.

To my love.

She is there with me all the time, and I love her so much, but I have addictions to certain things, and I want to cure it, but the more I try it seems like the more it hurts us. She says she will be there no matter what, but she is only human, there is so much someone can put up with until she says that she has had enough. A part of me would die if she would leave me, but I would respect her wishes. The only thing I can hope for is so seek help, not only for me, but for the better of our relationship. I love you angel, forever and always.

This blog is going to change

Instead as a outlet for all of my writings, this blog will now strictly be a place for my opinions, that I will try to update on a day, by day basis. I need to try and write more because I have started to severly lack in the writing department, and it depresses to see me just waste away the hours doing nothing, when I should be writing. Thank you for reading and have a nice day.

Ode to my angel.

This was my second short story overall, and I wrote this before writers craft, but I did work with it a little once Mr. Kitchen showed us how to write one properly. This was kind of hard to write, but I started to get used to it once I started to feel the vibe of the story. This was my most challenging, and rewarding of my writing experiances.


It was quarter past 8, and I got off the bus at a crossroads. That is where I saw him; at first I just thought it was a strange passerby. With a closer examination though I realized this person was different, they made no movement to signify they had any life, or any thought what so ever. They stood there like a dark statue that had a monstrous purpose. This person also had a strange aura to them that seemed to mimic the feeling of losing a loved one. Then my mind went back to my Sunday school days in church, and the only thing I could rationalize is that it was the devil himself standing in an all black cloak. He was just stood there with a firm stance, almost like he was waiting for something that was very important to him. At first he was looking towards the place where the sun slept, then with a slow 180 degree turn of his head, his scarlet red eyes met mine. Then his body which seemed to move independently from his head, aligned with his deadly eyes, in a strange almost romantic gaze towards I. Then it was then and there I realized the devil was not looking for something, he was looking for someone, and I was his being of choice.

He did not walk towards me, but he made a sort of slithering movement across the street. His body waved from side to side till he stood in front of me. His breath reeked of dried blood, and maggoty meat. Then there was an overwhelming odour of sulphur, and a strange scream that arose from his body that sounded close, but yet it sounded like it came from a great distance. Then I fell to my knees puking, after putting up with his disgusting presence for those few seconds. Then I fell on my side next to my mess, and with a shocked look I saw it was no food that came from my belly, but it was bile, blood, and raven feathers. Then the devil extended his hand offering to help me up, I was confused and reluctant to take it, but it felt like 200 pounds weighed on shoulders and I could not get up on my own. I grabbed his hand and he lifted me off the ground with such ease; I was shocked by the amount of brute strength he had. I brushed myself off and took a quick glance at my puke, and right before my eyes it turned into poisonous snakes. There were 18 snakes that surrounded I and the devil. His head slightly tilted on an angle after the snakes went into their circle then I heard his voice. I was surprised because the sound that came out was not threatening or scary, but it was soothing, and surprisingly pleasant to my ears. He asked me “Are you content with your life?”. I suddenly said “yes of course why wouldn't I?”, then he took a deep exhale of frustration, and said “You lie to me, and I can only say you’re welcome for that.”. I thought about his strange words, and wondered why did he say that? Just when I finished asking that question in my head he laughed out loud, then he exclaimed “Why my child should I not say you’re welcome? I am the reason you can lie!”. I tried to step back but then one of the snakes leaped towards my calf to try and sink its deadly fangs in me. Then the devil grew monstrous claws that decapitated the snake before it could bite me, then all of the snakes around I and the devil, made noises that were ungodly, they were sounds that no snake should have the ability to make. The snake’s dead bodies turned back into their original form of the puke, as if the puke as never disturbed. The devil made a noise of regret like he was upset for the death of his deadly creations, but just as he started to look human; he went back to his unholy self. He then slowly removed his hood, and I closed my eyes in fear for what I was about to see, but I started to relax as if someone gave me a drug that loosened my current mood. I heard his calming voice say “open your eyes”, then I took a deep breath, and I slowly opened my eyes. My eyes were not filled disgust, but awe and jealously, for the devil wasn't some foul beast, he was a good looking man that had a friendly presence to him. Then I saw his eyes, they were the same scarlet red as before, and I tried to remember this isn't a helpful man, but a beast with a sinister purpose. As time went on though his words became more appealing to me, and I started to forget the beast in front of me.

We had a rather delightful conversation for about a half hour, but then his true purpose for his being there became known to me. He looked me in the eyes and said “Remember when I asked you if you were happy with your life?”. I responded with a perplexed “Yes, why do you ask?” He then said “I know you carry hardship in your life, so you are not truly happy correct?”, I was hesitant to answer at first but the words finally came out “ I guess I am not truly happy”. The devil then said “Finally you admit it, now do you want true happiness? The cost for it is rather simple.” “What is the cost?”, the devil then said “ it is your soul my good friend.”Then just after he offered for me to sell my soul for happiness, a heavenly voice arose from behind me, she said “Stop, for you are about to make a mistake!” .The Devil said “what mistake is that?, I offer him true happiness, you should leave so he can have want he wants.”, to which the women responded “ You only tell half truths, you are like a drug that destroys men souls, you get them addicted innocently at first, but then you slowly change them into monsters till they finally die.”. I turned around to see the women whose voice alone made me willing to die for her, and I saw no wrong in her. Her hair, her face, her body, and even her clothes showed that she was perfection. Her presence was warm, and didn't have any hidden agendas to it; she truly wanted to help me. Her hair was long and looked as soft as Egyptian cotton, her eyes were a beautiful mix of green and brown that seemed to shift colour in the light. Her body seemed to be gentle, calm, and symmetrical, she was a beauty that any man would have killed to be around. Her voice was the icing on the cake she could have spoken complete nonsense for hours on end, but her sweet tempting voice would still make it interesting. I inquired to her “what is your name sweet angel?” her response was full of smiles and giggles; she said “my name is Aleshia, and I have been watching you for a while.” I spent half a hour with the devil, but in those few brief minutes, hearing and seeing perfection, I knew who was right. Perfection was right and she went by the name of Aleshia, a true heavenly name.

They both raised their hands out towards me, one offered a deadly gift, and the other just wanted me to be safe. I knew the devil's offer was lies once Aleshia came, but there still was a part of me that wanted his gift. Then Aleshia said “Do you want the death that comes along with his gift? I make no promises of happiness, but I make a promise that we will at least try to make our own happiness.”, after she said that our eyes were locked in loves trance for what seemed to be an eternity of grace. Just as we both were locked in loves embrace the devil shouted “Do you trust this whore over me! She is nothing; I can give you guarantees of happiness! She only gives maybe's and what if's!”. Then I exclaimed “She might give me maybe's and what if's, but I know in my heart she will not betray me in any aspect of my life!, You give me beauty wrapped in pain and suffering, she gives me true happiness, she gives me love.” Just when I finished my sentence the beast's true form became known, it was a weird snake like creature that had fur and features of a wolf. Then he jumped and sunk his fangs in my throat. He then left with a monstrous laugh, but as he left the angel Aleshia came to me. She said “trust that our love can save you, and you will be safe.”, then I gave her a sign of approval through the gurgling noises of my blood filled mouth. Then everything became bright, and I heard a quire of angels signing of Aleshia’s glorious triumph, then all my pain was lifted.

I opened my eyes I was still on my bus, and I just noticed that I had to get off. When I got off the bus though I was confused, everything seemed so real. I looked across the crossroads and no one was there. I just shook it all off, and I went back to my home. I never told anyone about my experience for I thought they would call me mad, so I just went to my computer, and I went on my facebook. As I was searching my news feed I saw her, my angel. She looked exactly the same as my dream, except she looked a little better; I thought how could perfection be challenged? I think she looked better because I could actually talk to her, touch her, and hopefully love her. I sent a message to the angel Aleshia, as I wrote it though I heard a cry in the distance; it was the sound of someone’s complete and utter failure. Now I know the best thing about my angel Aleshia wasn't her beauty, but it was her personality. Everything about me seemed to just fit in perfectly with her. Sometimes when I am with my angel, I feel that feeling of complete loss, then I look in Aleshia’s eyes, and that suffering I felt melts away into the abyss of eternity. Then those horrible feelings are replaced with love and happiness; now I can only trust that as long as I am with Aleshia those good feelings stay with us forever.

Journal entry work

This was my second journal entry, and I believe it was my most powerful out of all of them. I wrote this in the peak of a writing frenzy, and finished it in about 10 minutes. My only regret about my journal entries are is that I didn't get to write more of them.


During this week I have seen and heard many different things, most of them upsetting, but they all have the ability to yield good results. Throughout life everyone has to live with their fair share of regrets, and disappointment. Would you alter the past though in order for those actions to disappear? I would love to give everyone the ability to get rid of one of their biggest regrets in their life, but who is to say that once they get rid of that regret, they wont make another regret of equal or greater value? Life has many lessons but does one really have to go through all of them? Does a girl have to get beaten by a boyfriend to know that it is something she should avoid? Does a person have to see their best friend die young to know that life is short? Does a child have to be molested by a family member to know that you can't fully trust anyone? I just wish that I could make the biggest problems in anyone’s life disappear, but yet let them keep the lessons from those things, so they never have to relive those issues. I can't change those things though, so the only thing we can do as people is to try and grow from those horrible moments, and not let those things govern your life.

In order to grow though you have to confront your problem instead of ignoring it, and keeping it inside. The longer you keep those issues inside, the more dangerous of a hateful cancer it becomes. First you hate the regret; then you hate yourself; then you hate everyone who "failed" to help you, or guide you though it; then eventually you start to hate everyone in sight. I know it is hard to tell someone about your regret, but it is better to tell someone, than just hurting yourself by keeping it inside of your head. Someone is always willing to help, let it be a family member, a friend, or a close person like a teacher, or a co-worker. Do not hurt yourself more by holding information, let yourself begin to heal.

persuasive essay

This wasn't too much of a challenge for me, because I felt like this was a hot topic issue that I enjoyed talking about. I love the concept of writing something that I get to try to prove, and get people to believe my point of view. I don't regret writing this at all, and I plan on writing more in the near future.

There are many decisions when it comes to what people believe religiously, whether it be Allah, god, Zeus, and even people that believe in no god. Yes there are so many different beliefs, but there are also many pointless arguments over those beliefs. Does the world spontaneously combust when someone believes in something different than you? Does there have to be a farce of a debate that leads to no winners, just only more fuel for the hateful fire that burns in the human soul? No this isn’t just a difference in opinion it is a crusade against the blasphemous heathens, or a battle against those religious dogs that rule the world. Mostly everyone of these faiths and belief systems believe they have some type of evidence that is more credible than the other guys evidence. I personally believe who gives a crap about what Jimmy believes, and think people should just start to focus on themselves.

Religious wars have been going on for as long as man started to think, but for some reason even in our “modern” day society we cannot even get over the petty disagreements that kills people each and everyday. Staying true to your beliefs is hard especially when you try to have a pissing match in the wind with the guy next to you. No one usually ever shakes on principles that relate to religion, and they just get downright aggressive, when confronted with a challenge to those beliefs. Is it wrong that Jimmy believes in god, and that Timmy is an atheist? No as long as they stay intellectual and respect each others beliefs there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, but if they start to argue over those beliefs, the fire of hate only grows and grows until it has consumed the entire human existence. I say to extinguish that fire we use our minds, and as a people together we can snuff out the hate.

Now here comes the criticism, “ what about terrorists I am supposed to tolerate them?” and “what about cults am I supposed to tolerate them too?”, these only grow in the ash that has been left over from the hate that the disagreements that man has faced. If we look towards reason and tolerate each other; does a man need to kill himself to make a point? Does a man need to make himself a god in order to feed his carnal pleasures and sick twisted behaviours? Over time every one falls to the power of intellect and reason. Every one has to change what they believe in order to work in the modern world.

Sure this is a almost impossible task when considering the amount of people there are in the world, and the amount of blood that has been shed over certain beliefs, but I am not asking for an over night change. I am only proposing that we use intellect and reason, instead of hate, and blind aggression towards each other. It will be a hard hill to climb, riddled with many dangers, but it is a hill I am willing to climb with any person that is willing to walk with me. So is it wrong to want to have this future where everyone can believe what they want, without the fear of hate, without the fear of suffering, and without the fear of death? Is it wrong to want to dream of a better future for all of mankind? Lets end all of the hateful arguments over what people believe, and just start to care about human life.

The creative struggle through a conformist society.

This is my satrical essay, I personally thought it was easy to write, but the only difficulty that I encountered was staying with a sarcastic tone. All I wanted to do the entire time was switch back into a serious tone, and attack the issue up front. I dislike satrical essays, because I believe it to be a little in your face. It is like this " Look at me, and how smart I am, I can write essays about things I am against, but sound sarcastic at the same time!", so it is something I wish to never approach ever again.

There is one thing that is a common element in life, and it is one thing I hate. I hate conformity. Why can’t everyone be like the individual rebel that dyes their hair, or pierces their skin in strange new ways? Or go back to the sixties when all of the individuals came together and
formed groups that stayed with each other, and always showed those conformist pigs what they really are. It is the individual that moulds and shapes our society, it is through them we begin to learn what is truly correct and alter or system so we can be individuals too.

The thing I hate most about conformity is that there is no room to breath creatively, but once you are in a group of individuals you can finally learn how to be creative through their guiding light. They are always willing to show you where to get a good nose piercing like Sarah,
Timmy, or Ryan. They even might show you how to make you hair get that cool shape like those individual lead singers in all those bands that they all like. Leave it too conformity though to try and snuff them out, if you don’t conform to them they get upset, and angry at the individuals for
being so different. Why can’t those conformists dress, talk, and think like us so they themselves can be individuals too? It is only through creativity, and individualism one can truly begin to understand life, because it is obviously more correct than the conformists view of life.

Why can’t I live my life in peace, and constantly attack the conformers for being wrong is there something wrong with that? They need to know that we are the future of the world, and they are just holding us back in the past. We create new ideas together as a group, and all they do is bring us down, and say we are wrong. As a group of individualists we together can show the world our multi co loured hair, our piercing’s, and our vintaged clothing. We will win the majority with our creative skills, and emotional personalities!

Love has its challenges

This dialouge was difficult, because it was hard to think of something that both people can talk about, and be interesting at the same time. After I got the formula down though it was only minutes later till I actually thought of something that I actually wanted to talk about. I felt like it was a worth while process though, and I am overjoyed about the experience I gained from it.


Susan walks into the middle of the parking lot to talk to Ron before he leaves, “ Ron the tests came back positive....”

Ron exclaims “Positive for what? What the hell are you talking about? Is this another one of your episodes?”

“No! This isn't another one of my episodes! I am pregnant you asshole!”

“ I am an asshole eh!? Wait...what? Your pregnant?” Ron steps back “ How could this happen? I thought we were safe? How could this happen to me!?”

“You! You! How could this happen to you! This is happening to us you prick!”

Ron puches wall “ I was thinking about me because there is no us remember!? Just when I think you're finally gone you ease your way back into my life!”

“ You seem to always find some new way to get back in my life!”

Susan starts to cry “ You think I want this? You think I want a baby at 17?”

Ron starts to say something but Susan cuts him off “ No you are right though I am just trying to ease my way back into your life, I am sorry I am accidentally pregnant with our baby!”

“ ….You are right what should we do?”

Susan seems a little shocked but continues “ Well we have to make a lot of sacrifices, like uhm we have to save money, and get baby stuff.”

“Fine whatever we need to get I guess we will have to get it, we can get through this, but I will not marry or anything like that.”

Susan starts to stutter “ I thought you would demand an abortion? I thought you were going to leave me for good?”

“ I would if you were lying, but you seem at least serious enough for me to indulge in what your talking about”

Susan starts to cry even harder“But it is too late.”

Ron in a random fit of confusion says “ Too late for what? We have plenty of time until the baby comes. I bet we have at least like 7 more months till the baby arrives. Don't worry I will help you out when you need my help we can..”

Susan cuts him off “ No we don't have any time left” She starts to choke on her words “ I thought you didn't want a baby, so”

“So what Susan?”

“ So I got the abortion.”

The broken soul

This is something that I had to write for my writers craft class. I had to keep it under a certain amount of words, so I could not add as much detail as I wanted to, but since I was restricted I tried my best. I wrote this within the period it was assinged, so it wasn't too hard to, but the writing restriction was a big challenge to me.


It was two fifty nine in the morning, and Johnathon Edgar O'Neil uneasily awaits for the clock to tick towards three in the morning. It happens at the same time every night for the past sixteen years, and goes on for roughly a hour. It comes from the attic and each night he hopes it will stop, but a part of him knows that is pointless to think that way, it always happens no matter what he thinks. The big hand strikes the twelve on the clock, now the most horrible part of his day happens. There is a high pitched piercing noise that rings through his ears that happens for only a moment, then he starts to hear the soft moaning cries of a woman that is begging for help.

Once it started he crawled into a ball and tried to ignore the crying, but no matter how many times he tries to muffle the noise it still stays the same volume. Tonight is particularly worse because it has been sixteen years since it happened; sixteen years since he found it; sixteen years since he hid it from the world. Something about this night was different though, something in him snapped on this night, and he could not handle the cries of the woman, like he usually put up with it for all those years. He arose from his bed, even though every single muscle in his body demanded for him to stay in the same position as he was before. In direct defiance to what his body wanted, he started walking towards the door, that if opened would lead to the stairs. Those stairs that went up towards the attic, and that is where the chest waited to be opened.

Johnathon kept repeating to himself that “everything will be alright” in a calm reassuring tone, but he quickly realized though things will not get better, they will only get worse. With each step he took, the cries started to get louder, and louder. His hope to get to the chest started to fall as the cries started to climb in volume. He opened the door silently one centimetre, and then the cries suddenly turned into light screams, and loud cries. With each step he took up the spiralling wooden stairs that lead to his attic, the cries seemed to become less human, and more demonic. Tears started to run down Jonathon's face as he made his way to the door that lead into the attic, and he could only think of thoughts of regret as the door entered his field of vision. He stood in front of the white attic door, and the only thing he wanted was to leave his house. He remembered though that he had a purpose, Johnathon had to open that chest, and end his plight. Once that thought entered his head he forcefully opened the door, because he was no longer ending this nuisance, he was on a quest to end personal suffering. Now the cries from before, became screams of agony, and horrible suffering. His eyes darted towards the big brown chest with the gold trim, that was covered in sixteen years worth of dust. Then with a few solid strides he stood in front of the chest, as if he was confronting a long hated dictator. Then he reached for the old yellow envelope that laid of the left side of the chest. He grabbed it with one furious motion, while doing so all of the dust flew into the air; he ripped it open and grabbed the old black key that laid inside. The screams were so loud now that his ears felt like they were going to explode, so once he got a firm grip on the key, he shoved it inside the old brass lock. Then he turned it once to the left, and vigorously opened the chest. Johnathon collapsed on the ground, and all of the screaming stopped. He laid on the ground long enough for all the dust that was thrown off the chest to settle on him. Then with a few deep breaths, he rose up and looked inside the chest. Then he remembered that is was sixteen years since it happened; sixteen years since he found it; sixteen years since he hid it from the world. It was a single sheet of paper, titled “good bye world”, it was his mothers suicide letter. Johnathon Edgar O'Neil held that paper that was hidden from the world sixteen years ago, and the only thing he could do was cry.

My love

My heart hurts when you leave, and feels great when your around.
We speak to each other but never make a sound.

She is perfection; she is my personal angel.
I hope that my angel, will never say farewell.

She loves me and stays true to her word.
Leaving her would just be absurd.

She makes my life such a pleasure.
She is my priceless treasure.

I told myself that love was an impossibility.
But now is my only reality.

I told myself that it was to great of a price.
Now it is like having my own pair of rigged dice.

I took away the gamble of forever.
And made it my truth, just for her.

I will stick around for all eternity.
All because of my love for thee.

Everything she does is simply amazing.
Her soul is oh so satisfying.

I cannot live without my angel.
A life without her would be my hell.

She is the purpose to my existence.
Everything else is just hateful resistance.

I vow to try and make her life great.
For this is my only fate.

My sun would not rise, if she was not alive.
I would just go to the cliffs, and prepare to dive.

I would be in constant suffering till the day I die.
These words I speak now will never be a lie.

Everything becomes harder when she is not with me.
It is like my soul has been burned to the third degree.

She is the cure to my disease, that I must constantly take.
I would long to be in a coma, and never wish to awake.

Good thing she is in my life, now and forever.
Loving her is a pleasurable endeavour.

She is my angel, and she is worth fighting for.
She makes pain, and suffering easy to ignore.

She inspires me to try my best.
She is my love, the goal to my quest.

I fight the endless fight, just for my sweetheart.
For her soul, is a truly beautiful piece of art.

I thought beauty like hers could not exist.
Her beauty is do pure and true, this I insist.

I thought there was no such thing as a soul mate.
Now I have her, I know she was worth the wait.

I thought no one could thrill me with conversation.
I realize now that she is my only salvation.

She contradicts everything I thought about life.
I know this woman will someday be my wife.

I love how her eyes can just stare into my soul.
Then she just observes me, and demands no toll.

I love the words she says, and the way she thinks.
Everything about her makes my stress sink.

Perfection is the only logical word that sums her up.
The lord would be grateful if she drank from his cup.

Aleshia DeLaurier, my love till the end of infinity.
I was blind before her, but with her love I can see.

The unjustified curse

He is a mistake floating through time.
Punished; but never committed a crime.

He is moving; going from place to place.
But he is disgusted; never showing his face.

He will roam this world alone forever.
His soul is diseased; it will never get better.

He was innocent, but the judge sealed his fate.
Now he will punish, and hate till his expiration date.

His mind screams “the wicked do not sleep”.
These thoughts he will forever keep.

It is a curious thing, his self-loathing hate.
Now he stands at the door of hells gate.

He screams a challenge toward the dark lord.
As he reaches for his unholy sword.

“I did not barter my soul, my parents did!”
“This is something the lord's law forbids!”

“I do not follow the words of your master!”
“I am the Devil, the lord of disaster!”

“I take whatever soul I please!”
“Now bow before me!”

He feels no obligation to bow today.
He will fill the Devil with hate and decay.

He did not back down from the Devils command.
Which alone is something that is truly grand.

Now with fear the Devil says “ lets make a deal”.
Now he is confused, because this feels surreal.

“I can give you back your soul for a price?”
“What do you propose; be precise!?”

“I will give you your soul for another's life?'
“I cannot give another a life of strife!”

Now he is confused as to what he wants.
All he can hear now are his demons taunts.

“You are just like your father boy.”
This is just another of the Devil's ploys.

“He was cursed just like you.”
“But I made his soul anew”

“His holy gift became, my horrible curse!”
“To accept your gift, would be really perverse!”

“The sins of the father, die with the son.”
“This will never be undone!”

He just puts his blade away and leaves the Devil alone.
His true name will never be known.

He marched back to the world above.
He died alone never feeling love.

But he never gave up his integrity.
And he stopped feeling self pity.

He was a hero to a being that never came to be.
The curse he kept, so others will be free.

The complexities of love

What is love? Throughout my life I have been told that love never stops, and it is something eternal, but through personal experiences, and observation I learnt it can end as quickly as it started. It scares me to think that the eternal flame that I was told to cherish, can be quickly snuffed for no particular reason. Love is something that you cannot control, and it is something you cannot manufacture; it just exists. Can one actually ever fall out of love though? One might argue that the couple never felt love, and tried to expand their feelings too quickly thus by doing so, they made their souls have an emotional bankruptcy. Some might even argue that love is just two people saying that I can deal with you, and I appreciate your personality, but there is a point where you can't deal with the person anymore, so you fall out of love. It could even be a chemical response, and when the good chemical are done, the love stops. I would like to believe that love is a balance of everything I just listed, but the only difference is that the couple has to genuinely want strive to keep their love alive, instead of just letting it die quickly in the cold night of loneliness.

Which leads me to my second thought that ties into the subject of love; how does one tell the difference between love and lust? Both are feelings that everyone can experience, but most never really can tell which is which. Some believe that lust is the beginning of love, but in reality lust is just a sexual longing for a person. While love might have sexual longing, but there has to be a point were you satisfied intellectually by the person before you commit to your sexual desires. This is obviously a dilemma that is often experienced by adolescents, because a lot assume that when one has a sexual longing for someone they must be in love. So, they jump into hardcore relationships, with no actual logical base to it, so when the feeling of sexual desire leaves, they are left with feelings of resentment, and dislike towards their past sexual partner.

The point to this I guess is to show people that not everyone my age is a mindless slave following a strange emotional doctrine that leads them to get into trouble. Also I wanted to give my opinion on such a widely talked about issue like this. To sum up everything I have been saying, I guess it would have to be this, love can be an eternal thing, but only when one nurtures it and treats it with respect, and that lust can do harm to ones soul, so build an emotional base before you jump into sexual activities. You only live such a short life, so do not fill it with unneeded emotional pain when you are young, wait till you can accurately make decisions, then find your love.

Thoughts of a writer

During this week I have seen and heard many different things, most of them upsetting, but they all have the ability to yield good results. Throughout life everyone has to live with their fair share of regrets, and disappointment. Would you alter the past though in order for those actions to disappear? I would love to give everyone the ability to get rid of one of their biggest regrets in their life, but who is to say that once they get rid of that regret, they wont make another regret of equal or greater value? Life has many lessons but does one really have to go through all of them? Does a girl have to get beaten by a boyfriend to know that it is something she should avoid? Does a person have to see their best friend die young to know that life is short? Does a child have to be molested by a family member to know that you can't fully trust anyone? I just wish that I could make the biggest problems in anyone’s life disappear, but yet let them keep the lessons from those things, so they never have to relive those issues. I can't change those things though, so the only thing we can do as people is to try and grow from those horrible moments, and not let those things govern your life.

In order to grow though you have to confront your problem instead of ignoring it, and keeping it inside. The longer you keep those issues inside, the more dangerous of a hateful cancer it becomes. First you hate the regret; then you hate yourself; then you hate everyone who "failed" to help you, or guide you though it; then eventually you start to hate everyone in sight. I know it is hard to tell someone about your regret, but it is better to tell someone, than just hurting yourself by keeping it inside of your head. Someone is always willing to help, let it be a family member, a friend, or a close person like a teacher, or a co-worker. Do not hurt yourself more by holding information, let yourself begin to heal.

The satisfaction of failure

You try and march towards a goal that never will be won.
But you march and march, until that goal is done.

Just close your eyes and wish for your world to go away.
But guess what? The world will never listen, it will never obey.

The world just hates, and tries to make you a disgrace.
It prosecutes, it rapes your character , and puts you in your place.

It will not stop, so why should you?
It does not care for what you gone through.

The beast will never rest its monstrous form.
Its hate will rise like a deadly storm.

So march and fight till your last deadly breath
Let the world remember your martyrish death.

No one will shame you for fighting the beast.
Even though that you will end up deceased.

You will gain no praise from the anyone once you die.
Not even your own mother will cry.

None of this hardship will not stop you at all.
Let the people know you tried to climb and impossible wall.

Scream out your name as if you have claimed victory.
Show the beast that you have no pity.

Die with the smile, and determination in your eyes.
Let you trying to win be your prize.

Then no one can speak ill of your life.
Even though it was ended by the beasts knife.

You tried when everyone refused to go.
You alone took on this murderous foe.

Be proud that you tried your best.
As you march toward your lonesome quest.

You found something to die for.
This the beast will never ignore.

You took it on, now the beast is afraid.
Others will come and take up your crusade.

All because you decided your own fate.